Perfectionism. It is something that is so familiar to many of us. Perfectionism has its benefits. Perfectionism will help you do great work. Perfectionism also has its downsides. Perfectionism can bring your down. It can drain you. It can lead to stress and anxiety. It may even push you into freeze mode feeling stuck and unable to work.
So what to do about perfectionism and how to overcome it? I am so excited to share this guest post from Onize on the root cause of perfectionism and some wonderful tips on how to overcome perfectionism. I hope you enjoy it.
Note: Onize is a freelance writer from Nigeria and I am so excited to bring voices from all around the world to this project. Our last guest author lives in Germany, and I hope to see many other guest post from around the world here. If you are from or living in a country outside the US/Canada/Australia/New Zealand/UK, feel free to reach out and share a guest post with us. And now, without further ado, here is Onize for you:
The Root Cause of Perfectionism and How to Overcome it
Guest post by Onize Muhhamed
Perfect is a beautiful word but it doesn't exist. Trying to attain perfection is similar to beating the air. You'll waste your time, get drained, and injured.
Perfectionism is on the rise today. Signs and symptoms of perfectionism may look like this:
A student who scored 99% in an exam but decides to be sad because 1% is missing.
An athlete who won a competition but doesn't think he deserves it because he simply feels his opponents weren't strong enough.
A lady who is worried and less confident over a bump or pimple on her face.
A creative who's very slow because he wouldn't move until he perfects one detail.
A skilled person who's afraid of showing up because of the fear of not living up to expectations.
A boss who's a detail freak and sets his staff on tension over an iota of mistake.
Perfectionism may be expressed in many more ways.
A lot of perfectionists often believe they're striving for excellence but unknown to them, they've crossed the thin borderline.
Perfectionism isn't a disorder but it's worth your attention because the personality traits threaten productivity and mental health.
At this point, you should be able to tell if you're a perfectionist or not. If you're still in doubt, this quiz may help.
Root Cause of Perfectionism
Research supports that perfectionism is inherited which explains why a child may refuse to eat or do anything else until they get their assignments right. However, it can be triggered and worsened by societal factors, such as parental action or social media.
Parental Actions
It used to be common to see African parents not appreciating children that did well because they believed it can inflate their ego and make them misbehave. So, they'd rather tame the child by making them feel that they could've done better. This action nurtures the seed of perfectionism in children and is reflected as a lack of contentment like the case of the student in Researcher, Hewitt's story.
However, some modern-day parents are bridging the gap but often overstretch it. The flaw here is that children begin to believe that their achievements must always be validated by appreciation. And when they don't receive it, they conclude that they haven't done well enough.
Some perfectionist parents rear it up in their children by making comparisons among them or with other children. These parents also set self-satisfying outrageous expectations for their children and go to the length of scolding them when they don't meet up. They mask this with the statement, "I only want the best for my child".
All of these actions pressure children and make them doubt their abilities. Parents must be aware of the mental health implications of their so-called "well-meaning" actions. So that they don't ruin their children unintentionally.
{note from Kat at No Hustle Freelancer: I think those of us having grown up outside of Africa can relate to this. Having a European and American background, I know I do.}
Social Media
Research conducted by NCBI shows that social media is the prevailing cause of perfectionism among millennials. The high life paraded on social media rear the belief that if they don't attain the standard of those they admire then they aren't working hard enough and can't be happy. Also, the number of likes has become the metric for endorsing physique and achievement. They become worrisome and anxious when they can't impress their social media audience and peers.
One of the ways Instagram has responded to this critical effect of social media is by giving users the choice to hide public metrics. Mental health advocates are expecting to see other social media platforms follow suit with more actionable approaches to deprioritize vanity metrics.
Ways to Overcome Perfectionism
Accept that you're a perfectionist. Half of the problems with perfectionists lie in their refusal to accept their status. Instead, they make excuses for their actions. This step is critical to overcoming it.
Set realistic goals and break them into small steps. This will ensure that you're not overburdening yourself while saving the risk of coming down with anxiety when you fail to meet up.
Celebrate your efforts. When you feel unworthy of your achievements, read your reviews aloud and tell people about them. Also, remind yourself that you deserve every bit of it because you're the best.
Time yourself. Set a specific time by which you must finish a task. And when you're struggling with any step, jump over it and move on. You can come back to it at the end if time permits.
Avoid procrastination. Avoid telling yourself that you'll do it later. Whether you're mentally ready or not, launch into it. And if you break up your tasks, it will be less daunting to approach.
Say words of affirmation. Read it daily for as long as you need to. Include words that praise your abilities and remind you to overcome perfection.
Avoid freaking out when you make mistakes or something goes wrong. Remind yourselves that you're human and humans are imperfect.
Get an accountability partner. You might need to tell family and friends of your struggles and your plan to overcome them. Request for their support by keeping you accountable for your dos and don'ts.
Take It Easy on Yourself
Although perfectionism has a genetic link, it wouldn't have been so threatening if societal factors don't contribute.
However, your determination to overcome it is what matters the most. And the true test of how well you're doing is in your ability to rise when you fall.
Be tiger-willed to overcome perfectionism and don't allow it to overcome you.
Are you a perfectionist? What has helped you to overcome perfectionism?
Are you interested in creating a sustainable freelance writing business without the hustle? Check out my freelance writing course with a step-by-step process of exactly what you need.
About the Author
Onize Muhammed loves ice cream cakes with chocolate drip (the yummiest thing ever) and because she believes everyone deserves a taste of it, she shares the experience through what she loves to do the most - writing. She crafts exceptional content for health, lifestyle and SaaS brands. You can find her on LinkedIn.